The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) describes stress as a response to an outside cause that eases once the situation is resolved, and anxiety as a persistent feeling of apprehension or dread that can stay even when nothing is currently wrong. NIMH suggests it may be time to talk to a professional when those feelings won’t go away, get in the way of everyday life, lead you to avoid things, or seem to be always present.
As adults, we tend to thing of stress as a part of everyday life. “It’s just stress,” is probably repeated enough times in our clinic to be a new mantra. Life offers plenty of things to be stressed about: work, school, taking care of someone else, it can even be stressful just to remember to take care of ourselves. Some level of stress is indeed normal, but sometimes the feeling of worry can linger even when the stressors go away. If the sense of dread becomes persistent, it might be
Here is what recognized health authorities say about that difference, so you have something steadier than a gut feeling to go on. This guide isn’t a diagnostic, but it might help you decide if it’s worth a conversation.
What is the difference between stress and anxiety?
According to NIMH, stress is the physical or mental response to an external cause, like a heavy workload or an illness, and it generally goes away once the situation is resolved. Anxiety, on the other hand, is the body’s reaction to stress and can show up even when there’s no current threat, often as a persistent sense of dread.
The American Psychological Association (APA) describes stress as “typically caused by an external trigger,” while anxiety is defined by “persistent, excessive worries that don’t go away even in the absence of a stressor.”
| Stress | Anxiety | |
|---|---|---|
| Where it comes from | Usually an outside cause you can name (a deadline, an illness, a move) | Can show up with no clear current threat |
| How long it lasts | Generally eases once the situation is resolved | Tends to linger, sometimes for months |
| What it feels like | Pressure, irritability, tiredness, poor sleep | Many of the same feelings, plus ongoing worry or dread |
| What it does to your days | Uncomfortable, but you keep going | May lead you to avoid things or affect mood and functioning |
The APA notes that stress and anxiety produce nearly the same physical and emotional symptoms, including trouble sleeping, fatigue, muscle pain, and irritability. So the feeling alone often can’t tell you which one you’re dealing with. What tends to tell you more is how long it lasts and whether it still makes sense once the pressure is gone. For more information, check out what’s the difference between stress and anxiety?
Stress usually has an address. Anxiety can show up when nothing in particular is wrong.
Why do so many people keep calling it “just stress”?
Many people call anxiety “just stress” because the two feel almost identical and stress is easier to explain. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force has noted that anxiety disorders are “often unrecognized in primary care settings,” with “years-long delays in treatment initiation.” Even qualified professionals can sometimes miss anxiety, so it’s no wonder the rest of us talk ourselves out of it.
Anxiety symptoms are also more common than most people assume, especially for women. According to the CDC, 1 in 8 adults in the US (12%) regularly report feelings of worry, nervousness, and anxiety. In 2024, over 18% of US adults had been told by a doctor or other health care professional that they had an anxiety disorder.
The Office on Women’s Health puts the longer view plainly on its anxiety disorders page: “Women are more than twice as likely as men to get an anxiety disorder in their lifetime.”
Many women in their 30s and 40s reach out to Change.Life with feelings of dread or worry. These are capable, busy women used to having a handle on things, and “stressed” fits how they see themselves. Often, they’re more reluctant to characterize themselves as “anxious,” as it can feel like admitting there’s something wrong with them.
If you’re living with symptoms of anxiety, it doesn’t say anything bad about you, it’s simply information we can use to improve your quality of life.
What signs do health authorities say mean stress has become something more?
NIMH says stress may be turning into something more when symptoms interfere with everyday life, cause you to avoid doing things, or seem to always be present. NIMH also notes that if anxiety “doesn’t go away and begins to interfere with your life, it could affect your health.” Duration and disruption are the two things to watch.
NIMH’s description of generalized anxiety disorder offers a fuller picture of what persistent anxiety can look like. People may:
- Worry excessively about everyday things
- Have trouble controlling their worries or feelings of nervousness
- Feel irritable or “on edge” frequently
- Feel restless or have trouble relaxing
- Have a hard time concentrating
- Have trouble falling or staying asleep, or feel fatigued
Anxiety might also come with unexpected physical signs like headaches, weight loss, muscle tension, sweating, and feeling out of breath.
According to the NIMH, an official diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder also involves finding it hard to control worry on most days for at least six months. That doesn’t mean that you have to sit in front of the calendar and count the months if something feels wrong. That timeline is for diagnosis, and diagnosis is a clinician’s job.
For you, the question might be simpler: has this started to interfere with my personal life? This includes forgetting appointments, slipping at work, leaving bills and groceries undone. Often, these might be signs that there’s something else going on below the surface.
What is the moment when people realize it’s bigger than stress?
For many people, the moment they name anxiety arrives when the stressful situation ends and the feeling doesn’t. You might be done with a big project, or coming out of a delicate situation, but you don’t feel relieved like you thought you would. When that worry lingers, it might be a sign something else is going on.
It’s also important to consider the way those feelings manifest. For example, anxiety can often feels worse during the night, when a source of stress might be removed.
For Mariann, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some patients realize it’s more than just stress the first session, some realize it three sessions in, or after a month.
“It depends on when I talk to them about what questions I ask that trigger that moment. They’re dealing with stress, and then they say, ‘Oh, this is about this person that I love that died, that I didn’t really deal with,’ the grieving of the death. Or it’s about something that happened when they were a kid. The moment they stop and they’re like, ‘Oh! Wow.’ They’re just realizing it. You could see it in their face when they get that” — Mariann Arcari Rubin, LCSW
In Mariann’s experience of over 30 years as a licensed clinical social worker, one pattern has held steady. People come to Mariann for one reason, like a hard season at work, a loss, or a medical worry, but once they have room to talk and explore their feelings, they realize there’s an anxiety underneath it all. Patients often come to Change.Life because they feel overwhelmed, very few walk in calling it anxiety.
Ready to see how Mariann works with stress and anxiety? Visit the Anxiety and Stress page for details on her approach, session length, and how to get started.
How does anxiety show up at work, in the body, and at home?
Anxiety can show up as overthinking at work, physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches, and shorter patience at home. Work is often where people notice it first, because that’s where the pressure is most visible. Prolonged work-related stress can also begin to seep into your life outside of work.
In the APA’s 2025 Work in America survey, conducted by The Harris Poll from March 26 to April 4, 2025, 54% of U.S. workers said job insecurity had a significant impact on their stress at work. Among workers worried about layoffs, 42% said work-related stress made it difficult to sleep.
Often, concerns also come not from the work itself, but from the circumstances around it, like second-guessing every decision and dreading every meaning. At home, it might manifest in short temper towards the people you love , or saying yes to everything because disappointing someone feels unbearable. It can also be difficult to explain your anxiety to your partner, creating a rift in the relationship.
Personally, Anxiety can also impact the way you feel about yourself. Constant negative self-talk, low confidence, and other signs of low self-esteem might go hand-in-hand with anxiety.
Does anxiety have to be “bad enough” before talking to someone makes sense?
No. NIMH’s guidance is that if you are struggling to cope, or if stress or anxiety symptoms won’t go away, it may be time to talk to a professional. The only question you need to ask yourself is whether you’re coping or not. You don’t even have to meet all the criteria for anxiety before reaching out. Regular stress is a perfectly good reason for starting therapy.
A lot of people wait because they’re comparing themselves to someone who has it worse. The APA’s Stress in America 2025 report, based on a Harris Poll survey of 3,199 U.S. adults in August 2025, found that 69% of adults said they needed more emotional support than they received in the past year, up from 65% in 2024.
The same report found a strong link between loneliness and anxious feelings. Among adults with high levels of loneliness, 60% reported feeling nervous or anxious, compared with 24% of those with low loneliness. APA CEO Arthur C. Evans Jr., PhD, summed up the findings this way: “people across the nation are not just feeling divided, they’re feeling disconnected.”
Over 30 years, people have often come to Change.Life carrying loneliness while telling themselves it’s nothing. Often, just saying how you feel out loud in a space free of judgement can provide an immense self of relief. Therapy can help you manage your stress, understand your emotions, and improve your self-esteem.
What happens when you bring “it’s probably just stress” to a therapist?
When you bring “it’s probably just stress” to a therapist, the first step is usually talking it through, and any labels can wait. A good therapist listens to what’s going on, how long it has lasted, and how it’s affecting your days. NIMH names psychotherapy as one of the two main treatments for anxiety, alongside medication.
In our practice, the first step is a free 15-minute phone consultation with Mariann. You don’t need to have your feelings sorted into the right category before you call. “I think I’m stressed, but I’m not sure” is a perfectly good opening line.
If we work together, sessions are mostly conversation. Mariann will listen and let you explain how you’re feeling at your own pace. When they fit what you’re working on, we draw on methods from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). The methods come in when they’re useful. The conversation always comes first.
Sessions happen by secure video, with the same therapist every time. I walk through what that looks like in What Does Online Therapy With One Therapist Actually Look Like, From First Call to Ongoing Sessions?
Frequently asked questions
Stress and anxiety are closely linked. NIMH describes anxiety as the body’s reaction to stress, one that can continue even when no current threat is present. When stress-related feelings persist after a situation is resolved, interfere with daily life, or seem always present, NIMH suggests that may signal something more than ordinary stress.
There’s no waiting period for talking to someone. NIMH notes that a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder involves difficulty controlling worry on most days for at least six months, but that timeline is for clinical diagnosis. NIMH also advises talking to a professional anytime you’re struggling to cope or symptoms won’t go away.
According to NIMH, physical signs of generalized anxiety can include muscle tension, headaches, stomachaches, trembling, sweating, and feeling lightheaded or out of breath. The APA notes stress causes many of the same symptoms, so duration and whether they outlast the stressor tend to say more. NIMH recommends talking to a health care provider if you think you have symptoms.
No. You don’t need a diagnosis to reach out to a therapist. At Change.Life, the first step is a free 15-minute phone consultation with Mariann Arcari Rubin, LCSW, where you can describe what’s going on in your own words. Many people start by saying they’re stressed and unsure whether it’s something more.
How do you start a conversation with Change.Life?
The first step is a free 15-minute phone consultation with Mariann Arcari Rubin, LCSW. You can call 516-544-9322, text 480-586-8737, or schedule your free consultation online. Mariann reads every message herself and gets back to people fast.
Change.Life sees adults throughout New York and Arizona by secure video. Mariann is in network with Aetna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna, Medicare, UnitedHealthcare (including Oxford and GHI/Emblem), Carillon, and various employee assistance programs (EAPs). Change.Life does not accept Medicaid.